Light and Shadow Chapter 3


I took this photo the night I thought I was going to lose her (Sunday evening)

Drive By II

Here is the update:

I went to the nursing home on Sunday..  It took me a while to drive from Denver International Airport and I got to my hotel in Loveland around 3 pm.  I had to pump as I am still breastfeeding.  I freshened up and wanted to postpone the inevitable — seeing my mom so sick.  I snapped a bunch of photos out the car window as I drove up Interstate 25.  The crisp blue mountain sky, so clear at this elevation — 5,000 feet plus above sea level.  The white puffy clouds strewn across the giant sky like laundry across the floor of  a teenager’s bedroom.  The cottony white snow, topping the mountains glistened with the afternoon sun.  The light was brilliant. 

Drive By Blue Sky photo by memomuse

Well, I made my way to the hotel and stopped to get a bottle of wine at the liquor store.  The clerk was friendly and I bought a bottle of “Double Dog Dare.”  I have not had any of that wine yet.  But I am looking forward to a glass tonight so I can relax at the hotel.

I still haven’t had my glass of wine.  My mom went to the hospital on Sunday night.  She is much better. She was treated for a urinary tract infection.  Also treated with IV fluids for dehydration.  I am exhausted.  I did not go to sleep until 3 am on Sunday.  I am just so tired.  But I wanted to post something.  I will give all the details and give a full report tomorrow. This little writer needs to go to bed early tonight.  As of right now – Mom is doing really good, actually.  She told me today in the hospital, “I’m so happy to have my family around.  It gives me strength.”

Light and Shadow – Chapter 2 – Snow Capped Mountain View Along the Interstate


At McDonald’s getting free wi-fi friendly service, the beauty of looking out the window and seeing the Rockies snow capped and shrouded in light.

photo by memomuse

 I’ve settled on Light and Shadows or something like that for the title of my blog entries for my time out here visiting my mother and getting through the process of saying goodbye to her…I just need a better name than the previous morbid title (Death Diaries). I will be posting to my blog regularly, probably more than once a day. I should start twittering.

In fact, on the plane I almost got in fist fight with this bitch who claimed my feet were in the space she paid for under my chair. She was like, “I want to stretch out and your feet are in the way.”

“Well, then they are in my space.”  I said.

“Can you move them?” she said.

“No, my feet are on the ground at a ninety degree angle from my seat,” I say.

“I paid for this space and I want to stretch my legs out,” she says in her husky voice.

“Well, if you don’t move them I could punch you in the back of the head,” I hear her say to me directly, chuckling at her seat neighbors.

Then she flags down the flight attendant and tells on me and the Southwest flight attendant is literally checking under my chair. 

That’s when I turned around and maybe said, “Stop being such a bitch.”

Anyway, a nice man I sat next to held my hand and said, “Be nice.” I rose above. He helped me rise. Then a dude had a seizure on the plane. So that is the news so far of my trip. You’ll have to tune in to the blog to get the other details.

photo by memomuse

Needless to say, I am missing Ben and Rich more than ever. I feel like am amputee victim. Anyway…

I have decided to write through this because I just don’t know any other way. And since I like attention – I will be posting a lot of stuff live. (This is where you are supposed to flood by email inbox in Facebook and my blog comment section with your love and witty words.) Almost like a journal.  I mostly post essays that I craft and edit carefully to my blog, but for this week, I will just be blogging so to speak.  Hope you can tune in and give me some support. 

 Even if we went to junior high together and that is how we are Facebook friends or you a long lost college buddy, please feel free to send out some love.  And those closest to me, please reach out, I need you. I’m in country music country and those country songs get me cryin’ every time.  George Strait got me driving through Denver. 

People don’t get through tough times without their community…and Facebook is one of my supportive communities, as is my blog.  So…thanks for reading.  I have made a promise to try to find a light to cast on the dark shadows so it won’t just be dark dark sad sad stuff.  There is beauty in everything.

Photo by Angela Mellor

So I leave you with a photo a friend took of me Friday while we were listening to Old Time Music in Fountain, NC and my light for the day:

Light 1: The nice man on the plane I sat next to said, “That’s nice you’ll be able to say goodbye to your mom.  You don’t get notice on that most of the time.”

Light 2: The way the sunlight is hitting the Rocky Mountains is beautiful.  The sun is shining on the snow capped mountains.

photo by memomuse

Light 3:  I don’t need a GPS while I am out West because I have my trusty mountains to let me know where West is.

Light 4: I am back to my land.  I love wide open spaces.

Light 5:  My best friend, Heidi Hargraves is in labor (still) and I will hold her new born baby.