Merry Christmas to you all. It has been a long time since I posted. The last post I really composed was back in October — about my alma mata, Providence College. I posted a short little something about the World Series back in October too. November was a busy month for me as I started a new job as a Special Education teacher at a middle school.
I have been adjusting to my new job. I sleep a lot more. I am in bed by 8:30 pm most nights. Staying up until 9:30 pm is like closing down a bar; it rarely happens. Getting used to the new schedule (I have been a stay-at-home mom for the last three years) has been difficult. I am surprisingly more efficient though in some ways. But housekeeping and keeping the house clean always seems to be a task that just does not happen. There are some plates that get dropped, I just can’t do it all.
My husband has helped out a lot. He is amazing.
Speaking of amazing, can we talk about Christmas? I love Christmas. I had some apprehension about the holidays that started back in November. I should have been writing, but I started the new job and just froze up with my writing. There just was not enough time. I slept, worked, played with my son and spent time with my family, and slept. I just did not have time for anything else. But I realized I have to write to keep the creative juices flowing. Plus, it just makes me feel better.
Back to the amazing husband — he spoiled me for Christmas. Just a couple of my favorite gifts were Caluwe Artisan chocolates and a Pac-man game that is old school. It comes with a joy stick and you plug it into the TV. Joy. I love Pac-man.
I wanted to post something and the battery to my laptop is running low. I will be trying to post more on my blog,
Merry Christmas. It is a magical time of year. I am a Christmas Eve person and my husband is from a Christmas family. So we get the best of both worlds. And this year, my son was three so we just had a blast with him. We did not have time to bake Christmas cookies. It just did not get done, but we did make peanut butter bird feeders which my mother made with me as a child. I also continued our Christmas Eve tradition and made dinner. I made a roast. It was delicious. And as I cut celery, I felt my grandmother and realized that cooking for her was a form of expression. Read more about my awesome cooking and creative kin from my mother’s side on this blog: The Community Kitchen.
I had many moments of melancholy as well as utter joy leading up to Christmas. I looked at the stars a lot and felt my mom and dad. I realized that Christmas memories are made in the fissures of our heart, in the deep muscle tissue in each of us. Christmas is Christ, who I believe is in each and every one of us.
Do any of you watch The Bold and the Beautiful? I caught a little bit of today’s Christmas episode at my in-laws. They love that show. In fact, they call it their story. Well, I totally “got it” when the blond older woman had that moment with the blue bird (although I thought that was a pretty exotic bird to be local to LA) that was supposed to be Stephanie. I always think of my dad when I see a cardinal and I used to send him messages after he died through the birds. But I have been thinking about my mom more often now when I see cardinals. After all, she was a redhead. Well, when Ben and I went outside on Christmas Eve to hang the bird feeders, there was a bright red cardinal that swooped up into the tree near us. It was so red — so bright — so beautiful. I thought to myself, this bird was my mom. The energy was so intense, the startle from the bird was so intense.
Then I thought that is ridiculous, then I allowed myself to really think it — to know it. And I accepted it: my mother is with me — somehow, someway. I can’t explain it, but I can feel it. I can feel her love. I can feel the memories. I can feel the love. It is still alive, although she may not be.
Well, my battery to my laptop is telling me I have five minutes left on my laptop and I have Pac-man to play. I will get to the pretzel!
Happy New Year!
And Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.