A Thousand Monarch Butterflies

I’m searching for a pen among the sea of my cluttered desk — a teething ring, a bent paper clip, a rogue bracelet, an empty granola wrapper, a box of photos, an open barette, a baby monitor, a stapler.  These are a few of the many items cluttering the desk.  I need something to write with — something to record this moment as you lay in my arms, cradled in the nook of my left arm nest, tucked against my beating heart — so big, so warm, so welcome to this love.  Your mouth is just the tiniest bit ajar, now it’s closed.  Just like that you shift — my observation so keen and acute, changes and you are in another moment — another plane of time.

You are changing so quickly before my eyes.  The days are long and boring sometimes, but the milestones seem to race by.  Just two weeks ago as the Bradford Pears peaked and the Magnolias were musing in their bright pink fuchsia petals, dripping onto the green grass of a newborn spring, you were beginning  to crawl and do your crabwalk scoot.  One leg a scooter, the other a crawling propeller.  

Photo by Megan Oteri Copyright 2011

Now, as the Dogwood trees bloom their white white cottony velvet petals, just two weeks later, you are pulling up, thinking about walking, manipulating  the mechanics of it in your beautiful mind filled with so many new things that have opened up into your world and laid a carpet before you of excitement and curiosity.  I watch you, bewildered and provide a safe lighthouse for you to look back on and see.  Always I will offer you that light, that magnification of your greatness out at sea. 

As I watch you, so peacefully asleep. frozen in this sliver of time, I hold onto you and savor it — savor it — savor it, because as cliché as it is — it goes by too damn fast.  But this — this moment — it’s crystalized and I feel it so intensely as if a thousand Monarch butterflies have fluttered in my heart.  Staring and bewildered by the beauty — I look in sweet swift glance as it passes by.


5 thoughts on “A Thousand Monarch Butterflies

  1. You got it going on girl… the writing is lovely as a spring day… and the photography is stunning! Yeah, those milestones… crawling, then walking, then running…

    then running out the door and into the arms of another woman. Savor these moments while they last my friend.

    Today when I saw little Ben clenching his fist to hold the pretend “bumblebee” my heart leapt at his amazing growth. I still hold to my dream that you got a genius on your hands.


  2. Joanne, Jude, and Debra, Thank you for reading and commenting on my post. Such a nice treat to have a message of a new comment. It makes my day.
    Joanne – our playdates with Ben and Elizabeth continue to inspire me to write more musings of how fast our little ones are growing up. They seriously are going to be going to prom soon.
    Jude – I am so glad to have met you on Women’s Memoirs and now connect on the Blogosphere. I look forward to getting to know you.
    Debra – You conitnue to inspire me to push through my moments of frustration and writer tantrums. Thank you for your inspiration by example. Pure and Simple I adore you. And I am so proud I figured out how to network my blog! One great step for memomuse…


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