Ritual


Photo by Rebecca of Millie Holloman photography

I have a Wednesday night ritual after my graduate class.  I get a Krispy Kreme cup of coffee (cream and sugar) and glazed donuts – hot, of course. I drive home and call whoever will pick up and talk on the 45 minute drive home.  I am charged with electric writer energy from my class and usually end up talking to my writer friend, Debra Elramey http://debrasblogpureandsimple.blogspot.com/.

When I get home I nurse my boy to sleep, holding him on my lap, while I watch Parenthood, which I DVR from Tuesday night.  And I thank God I get to be a parent.  The coupling of the beauty of the characters and the beauty of my sleeping son with toes curled on my lap makes me pause – thankful and full.

Photo by Sara Turner http://www.sturnerphotos.com

As I try to start my ritual of writing, my son breaks into pieces – crying and awake after trying to lay him down in bed to sleep, as I attempt to tiptoe off to write.  I stop, console.  I change my ritual as soon as I can to accommodate him – he wakes up as I place him in our bed to sleep next to my sleeping husband.

Baby wakes

I change him

(which I am surprised to see his first turd

what a terrifically word unterrific

how I miss the breast-feeding poopies)

he cries

I nurture

he calms

I carry him

We are in bed again

He nurses

his ritual

nurse

pop off

roll over on his side

turn

nurse

pop off

turn on his side

repeat

repeat

repeat

until patience has me writing this longhand in bed

I am patient as I have my small notebook and pen

I write as he nurses

his comfort

this is his ritual of comfort

much as my ritual to write comforts me

We dance

in this rhythm

until well past my bedtime

My Krispie Kreme coffee keeping me awake, but I should be asleep

I am restless.  I want to write

this down

publish this

to my blog

a perfect ending to a ritual

but I fall asleep without teeth brushed, snuggled in his arms.

memomuse has been published in This Day: Diaries of American Women, Mamalode, Cowgirl, Rodeo News, Old Mountain Press, and many other publications.  She has recently converted from Dunkin Donuts to Krispy Kreme.  She thinks she may have a little Southern Belle in her, but she will always consider herself a Wyoming cowgirl.  She lives in Eastern North Carolina with her husband, son, two dogs, and lots of paper based clutter.  You can view her photos of sexy cowboys and rodeo still lifes at www.meganoteri.wordpress.com.

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One thought on “Ritual

  1. I love that “pop off” description. Brings back a flood of memories. Thank you for capturing these precious moments and the joyful and painful balance of loving loving self and other. When we open our heart to anyone we begin this dance, don’t we?

    Like

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