Monday Museletter April 9

Photo Piracy

I have had many photos stolen off the internet.  Last week I found them on a gay guy’s cute faces website, a Russian mail order bride website, and a Facebook page for women who love cowboys.  I am not going to digress into details, as I worked through it, and learned how to use water marked photos I have in an online art gallery called http://www.artflakes.com/en/shop/megan-oteri.    I got so bent out of shape and this quote was my tipping point when I saw it:

“For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Also, I thought of Samantha Jones from Sex and the City, when she said to Smith Jarrod, “First the gays, then the girls, then the industry!” when he was upset about his photo (Absolute Hunk) being on a New York City bus. You’d have to be a Sex and the City fan to get it.  Industry — I’m ready!

 I got over my anger and frustration that I had put up my best photos and did not watermark them (after many fights with myself).  I still am learning how to watermark. It is not an easy thing.  But I did figure out how to upload watermarked images from Artflakes.  Sometimes, you need to use the tools right in front of you.  And sometimes, you just got to GET OVER IT!

Pinterest

My Pinterest website is: http://pinterest.com/memomuse/ if you want to follow me.  So far, I have made two boards: cowboys and horses.  I really haven’t completed them, but I just figured out where my accepted invitation was in my email and joined Saturday.  Read this post, Pirates Have Stolen My Cowboys, if you want to hear me in the midst of a pity party, with valid reasons to be mad. But let’s not BS one another — I was having a pity party.

"Red" ~ Photo by Megan Oteri © All Rights Reserved

This is a watermarked photo. I feel an enormous amount of pride that I executed this watermark. And that I was able to upload it to Pinterest and hot link it back to Artflakes where the photo is for sale. Yippie.  Go ahead and click on the photo, it will take you directly to Artflakes where you can purchase professional quality prints, posters, framed photos, canvas prints, and note cards.  This is an example of the left brain giving the right brain a high five!

Send me a note in a comment and then I can follow you.  Pinterest is going to be trouble!  I already spend too much time on social media.  Oh my though, it will be so much fun and PInterest is so much a girl thang.  I know there are are men on Pinterest and all.  It appeals so much to my love of photography and visual art.  It also makes me feel better that not everyone has their photos watermarked.  Photographers are artists!  There are so many talented photographers out there.  Pinterest is social media mediums that is changing visual media, and I think it is an incredible program.  I don’t like that you can right click and copy images though, that does not serve photographers well who don’t watermark.  It also makes me think that most people are not going to spend money to buy photographs when they can use images for free.  But hey – the times are a-changin’.

Easter

We had a wonderful holiday.  I am so lucky to have such a supportive husband and beautiful son. I feel so lucky.  My husband helps me get out of the negative caverns I inhabit somedays.  He is my magic.  My mother-in-law made a wonderful Easter dinner, with all the trimmings.  She even made these beautiful Easter bunny cookies and hand painted them.  We also hunted for Easter eggs in the house Sunday morning. It was so much fun to watch my almost two-year-old hunt for them like a detective.

My mother-in-law is so talented. She does the special things that make holidays at her home incredible. I am so lucky my in-laws live near us.

Whole Brain

I consider myself right brained. And I talk a big game about not being left brain at all.  My good friend, and publisher of Mamalode magazine told me something I needed to hear.  I was crying on her virtual shoulder in an email about how frsitrated I was about having my photos pirated off the internet.  I was having a pity party.  She is not the type to let anything stand in the way of her goals, and she is brilliant, on both sides of the brain.  She said this:

I think you need to come to terms with the idea of a whole brain. I hear you talk about left vs right a lot. If you want to be a professional writer you need both. The idea of opposing them against each other will not serve you. The business, legality, protocols and all are just as important as the creative. One is really only a hobby without the other.

 

Keep on trucking. You have the gifts needed.  - Elke

This illustration/design was used for Mercedes Benz. I really like it. They have a lot more with different illustrations and examples of right and left brain. Follow the hot link.

The thing is, I needed to hear that.  I knew she would not let me get away with just being a victim of the rickety left brain bridge I dare not cross. The bridge that I  grasp and clutch, white-knuckling onto who ever is near me on the right brain bridge. On the right brained bridge, I do somersaults across and dance and jump without fear. Bottom line — creating and artistic things come natural to me.  Organization and logical sequential is difficult, almost makes me feel like I have a learning disability.  I actually had a severe speech disability and did not speak until I was four.  I had to attend a special pre-school for disabled children.  I also had speech until the end of third grade or fourth grade.

My mom always would tell this story:  When you were in Mrs. Maron’s class, you were sitting in sharing circle and your class was discussing love.  You raised your hand and said, “I know my mommy loves my daddy and my daddy loves my mommy,” and you looked at the boy sitting next to you and said, “And you’re not so bad yourself.”

I guess I was always a ham, with a very intense speech impediment.  I remember vividly trying to say my R’s.  I still struggle with rural.  Please don’t ask me to say it.  I prefer to live rural!  I had an awesome speech teacher too.  I remember the closet I had to go to (literally) to go to speech lessons at school.  Ironic I became a Special Education teacher!  That is what I have my BA in (Elementary and Special Education).

My Mom, Wyoming, and My High School Reunion

My mom is slowly drifting away.  Her voice is very quiet and it is hard to hear her on the phone.  She is losing mobility in her hands.  She is pretty much bed ridden at the nursing home. I need to go visit her soon.   I keep putting off making a decision to go because I don’t want to leave my son.  I can’t take him with me because it would be too much to handle a toddler alone and have quality time with my mom.  Also, tickets are expensive and we just don’t have the extra cash.  Read this post, I Just Got to Town, take a Number, to catch yourself up to speed about almost losing her last May (if you are new to this blog).

Photo is not credited, but it appears on the website which is hot linked. This is my new ethical decision -- to credit the photographer and ask permission to post. This is a public website so I don't have to ask.

Ideally, I’d love to go at the end of July and catch the last couple of days of Cheyenne Frontier Days Rodeo, and then travel up to Yellowstone and the Grand Tetons, and then head back down to Cheyenne for my 20th high school reunion in the beginning of August.  Oh yeah – and a magazine would hire me because they are reading my blog right now, or an editor is, and they would hire me to write about Wyoming, Yellowstone, Cheyenne Frontier Days, and my mother, or at least one of those.  (If you are a magazine editor, I am a really good writer and photographer…just sayin’!)

If wishes were kisses, I’d be smothered with lipstick!

Talenthouse – Just LeDoux It!

This is my next submission for a creative invite: Chris LeDoux.  Voting starts April 16.  The winner gets to collaborate with Robert Caplin and Viewbug if they win.  I don’t expect to win.  But I do expect to get all the Chris LeDoux fans to celebrate with me as I bombard social media channels with this photo of him.  I took it in 2003, I think.  He is just a beautiful man.   Chris was one of those human beings that made people feel good.  I didn’t even know him, but I did meet him and I shook his hand.  I was even lucky enough to ask him, “What are your thoughts on being at The Daddy (as in Cheyenne Frontier Days — the largest outdoor rodeo and Western celebration in America).  He smiled right at me, all beautiful-like, and hummed out, “Just happy to be here.”

Here is the link to the photo, Chris LeDoux. You can click on the link and become a supporter today.  By becoming a supporter, you will be sent an email from Talenthouse when voting opens, reminding you to vote.  Voting starts April 16 – so spread the word to all the country crooner fans you know and especially to Chris LeDoux fans.  Did you know that Chris and I went to the same high school in Cheyenne?  Go Cheyenne Central Indians!

One Ride is a musical celebrating Chris’ music and tells the story of the rodeo cowboy.  Check out the website, One Ride, to find more info.  You can also find information about the musical, One Ride, at the Chris LeDoux offical website and you can listen to lots of his beautiful country songs.  When you click on the website, you will be greeted by one of my favorite songs, “Old Paint.”  Click here to read the lyrics to that song. Chris was a true cowboy bard and poet.

Brain Tumor Thursday

This Thursday I have the pleasure of sharing the profile of an amazing woman.  She calls herself @thelizarmy on Twitter.  She has a blog here: http://thelizarmy.com/.  She is also on the medical advisory board for the National Brain Tumor Society.  Check her out.  She is a rock star and a special human being.  I am really enjoying the connections with the brain tumor community I have made.  My mother has brain tumors.  Read this post to find out more about that and  Brain Tumor Thursday.  You can also read the last two posts here: Tom McLain and Stephanie’s I Am Stronger Now…  If you get freaked out about medical stuff and the mention of brain surgery makes you squeamish, you might want to steer clear on Thursdays.  I encourage you to read the profiles because they are inspiring.  People rock. Period.

National Poetry Month

April is National Poetry Month.  I have been posting poems on my blog.  My favorite poem is called, Separation Anxiety.  

Thanks for tuning in for the Monday Museletter.

Hope. Wish. Dream. Be.

~ memomuse

He Needs Me – Just Be, Just Breath, Just See – This Moment Won’t Last

I get irritated when he wakes up and cries.  I just got him down.  Seriously, he’s awake.  Only I can console him with my breath, with my breast, with my best intentions.  I think to myself, he won’t be this tiny for long.  He has already grown so much.  It seems like yesterday he was just nine days old; now, he’s almost nine months.  His heart inflated, his tears frame his face.  His heart hurts for me.  I am there.  Right there.  On my side, on our family bed.  Laying peacefully next to him, planning my escape. Then I think  – this won’t last.  This won’t last.  He won’t turn to you at seventeen with those lips, with that smile.  With those little arms and feet dangling there, lost in the translation of time.  He just won’t.  But you will long for this moment.  You will.  You will want this moment back.  So just breath, just be, just see.  Just take a step back and let him see, you as his mother.  Feel you as mother.  Breath you in as mother.  As his lovie that lulls him to sleep. 

One Month Old

My baby boy is one month old today.  I can’t believe how fast this month has gone by and how much I can’t remember due to the lack of sleep.   I started with the best intentions to document everything – every little coo and cuddle and cute little smile (or gas as they say).  But I have just resorted to surviving and sleeping now and snapping as many photos as I can. Although I have given in to the fact that I will most likely not get around to uploading them to my computer any time soon.

I am absolutely in love with my son.  I stare at him all the time and he stares at me and we have started a long relationship of wonder, beauty, and love.  My husband is so helpful and seems to be in a zombie state as well with me.

In one month the baby has grown so much.  He doesn’t fit newborn clothes any more and is in 0-3 month clothes.  He is extra long and I need to upload some pictures from the digital camera to the computer.  Like I said before, I am not that technology savy.  Too much work and I’d rather sleep.  Speaking of sleep I should be sleeping now!  My sleep schedule and pattern is so messed up.  I took a three hour nap with Ben after I fed him. We snuggled and fell asleep. Truth be told, I got lazy and didn’t put him in his basinet. And I have to admit I just love having him near me.

We slept side by side (I made sure all pillows, blankets, and any possible suffocating item was cleared from the bed).  We slept through a severe thunderstorm with booming thunder and lightning.  I was so tired I didn’t even wake up.  My husband told me about it.  It was such a bad thunderstorm the news channels put out warnings.  I guess there was a church in town that was struck by lightning and was destroyed by the fire.  North Carolina has some serious thunderstorms! I feel bad for the people who go to that church.   I don’t know the details, but I  am pretty sure nobody got hurt by the fire.

I am trying to find my voice again with my writing.  I got lost with this new motherhood thing.

Last Wednesday I took the morning off from my son. Doesn’t that sound awful!  But it is a cold hard reality for this mom.  I was struggling with lack of sleep and also struggling with my son and breastfeeding so I handed him off to his dad and said I can’t do this today.  I felt absolutely awful for “giving up.” But I had to -  I was too frustrated.  I just needed a break.

Daddy's Love

So, my husband is awesome and amazing with our son.  He can get the baby to calm down when he is hungry and crying.  He sings a variety of songs with Benjamin’s name in them.  One song goes like this,

“Who’s in the house?

Ben’s in the house

Raise the roof

Raise the roof

I said who’s in the house

Ben’s in the house

Raise the roof

Raise the roof

I said who in the house

Ben’s in the house

Repeat on and on as necessary

It’s adorable.

So back to my Wednesday break down – so I held him in my arms, well actually lifted him under his arms and said to my husband, “I can’t handle him right now. I need a break.”  I crawled into bed and started crying.  Rich came in and comforted me.  I said, “I feel like I’m a failure right now and a bad mom.”  Rich said, “You are a great mom and you DO NEED TO TAKE BREAKS. YOU can’t keep up this pace.”

The thing is he is right.  I mean how could I – I am not sleeping a full night.  I am not even sleeping four consecutive hours. Three consecutive hours max!

So I pumped enough breast milk for my husband to bottle feed the baby the whole day.  Rich took the morning off of work (he still had some paternity hours left) and packed up the baby and his Graco pack and Play and went to Grandma’s so I could get some sleep.

I slept for four hours and woke up needing to see my baby boy.  My husband wanted me to sleep the whole day, but four hours is luxury these days and I felt renewed and refreshed. Although I could have slept for ten more hours!

It is such a tug of war of the heart being a new mom.  Maybe it is just being a mom.  But for me this is foreign soil and I am connecting with my mom friends and making new mom friends to get support.  Apparently all these feelings I am having are not new and other moms have had them.  So I don’t feel so alone.

I love being a mom and it is such a gift.  I didn’t think I was going to be able to have kids.  To make a long story short – we went down a long road of infertility and the treatments that go with it and ended up getting pregnant naturally after I went to an acupuncturist.  Here is the link to an essay I wrote years ago for NPR’s “This I Believe” about this issue. I am just a late bloomer.  I have been all my life.  And blooming I am right now – in full bloom of motherhood!

So, my voice is hitting all kinds of high notes with this new addition to our family that makes my heart feel so full and aches with love and adoration.  Sometime I think about censoring myself and not putting myself out there and being vulnerable, but I am a writer and this is what writers do.  I write non-fiction and this is what is going on for me right now as a writer.  Plus, I know that my story can help someone else find their voice maybe and have the courage to tell their story uncensored!

Heartbeat Smile