#Brain Tumor Thursday – Tom McLain

If you are new to this blog, read this so you know what this project and post, #Brain Tumor Thursday, is about.

It is my pleasure to introduce you to Tom McLain —  husband, father, friend, family man, and overall awesome person — who also happens to be fighting (and doing a great job might I add) brain tumors.  These are his words, in his voice.

“What then do you do with the statistics?  I choose to think of them as merely a guide.  With my brain tumor, I choose to believe that my chances of survival are phenomenal.”  ~ Tom McLain

I hope…

How can you have a brain tumor and not hope for a cure?  Hope does not completely drive me, because it does have to be tempered with reality — the statistics are often grim.  But even in the face of grim statistics, one can always hope and pray about being an outlier, being the one patient who brings the average up by living far longer that the average or even the top number in a range of years.  The companion to hope is faith in God.  As I have said before, “As weapons against cancer, faith is the bow and hope is the arrow.”

I wish…

It is my sincere wish that no one else ever has to face a diagnosis of a brain tumor.  One of the wisest things said to me at the beginning of my journey was the observation that the central question was not, “Why me?” but “Why not me?”  That shifts the focus from internal to external and allows you to make wishes for others.  My hopes and dreams tend to be about  me and my family and my wishes tend to be broader in scope.

I dream…

With the diagnosis of a fatal disease and no clear answer as to how long I will survive, I dream about the events in life that I may miss.  I have three daughters, so I dream about walking them all down the aisle to be married.  I dream about grandchildren, being convinced that I will be an awesome grandfather.  I dream about being financially secure enough to retire while I still have enough health to fully enjoy life with my wife and family.

“Never underestimate the power of God to use your flimsy self to his glory.” - J.E. Oppenheim

I am (be)…

While it may seem entirely strange to most, I am in many ways thankful for my brain tumor.  Before the tumor came along, I thought James 1:2-4 was a completely insane passage in the Bible:

2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. (NIV)

"The most difficult time in any cancer battle is the time between diagnosis and deciding on a plan of attack." ~ Tom McLain

How on earth could you ever look upon life’s problems as a joyful experience?  But then I began to realize that I would have a phenomenal opportunity to watch God work, both in my life, and in the lives of others around me.   As explained by American author and brain tumor patient, J.E. Oppenheim, “Never underestimate the power of God to use your flimsy self to his glory.”  So far, the tangible benefits of my cancer have been that I have been taught faith, hope, courage, resilience, and purpose.

"So far, the tangible benefits of my cancer have been that I have been taught faith, hope, courage, resilience, and purpose." - Tom McLain

It would be unfair of me to suggest that I have fully adjusted to my “new normal.”  The swirling effects of the tumor — chemo, maintenance drugs, being a male over 50, and possible radiation damage — do provide for some unevenness in my daily approach to life.  If fact, you could easily encounter me on a given day and conclude — “This cannot be the same guy.”

Diagnosis and treatment…

As for the tumor itself, a mass was detected in an MRI at the end of May 2009.  During the first week or so of June 2009, I had a brain biopsy and it was determined that my tumor was an anaplastic oligodendroglioma.  Not only was that good news because they are slow-growing tumors, but I also had what is known as a 1P, 19Q chromosome in the tumor cells which made them more susceptible to a particular chemo drug called Temodar.  On June 22, I turned 50, so you could say the tumor was my birthday present!  After getting a couple of consultations, it became clear that surgery was not an option, so we began Temodar in July 2009.  Eighteen rounds later, I finished Temodar in February 2011.  No too long after that, I started targeted brain radiation and completed that in July 2011.  The net result is: that as of today, my tumor is smaller and stable!

"The net result is: that as of today, my tumor is smaller and stable!" - Tom McLain

It terms of a favorite quote, there are many that come to mind.  There is actually a website that has been kind enough to add a few of my quotes to those of others in the brain tumor community and other cancer sufferers.  I go there frequently for inspiration.

https://sites.google.com/site/tummorwarrior/home/quotes-about-cancer

If you are a brain tumor patient or survivor and would like to share your story, please contact me at memomuse@gmail.com.  If you read this post, you will find the template for the profile feature, as well as, the connection I have to brain tumors.

You can also find me on Twitter, especially on #braintumorthursday.  Send me a message there or in the comment list here at my blog.  If you are on Twitter, be sure to put in the hash tag, “#braintumorthursday” to find support, information, and a whole community of amazing people doing their part to raise awareness and offer each other kindness and support.  You can also put in the hash tag “#BTSM” which means “brain tumor social media.”  You don’t have to have a Twitter account to get the information.  Just go to http://www.twitter.com and put in the two hash tags (#braintumorthursday and #btsm) to see the links to many websites.  You can also use a search engine, such as Goggle, to do this.

I have several links on my blogroll (link list in sidebar to right) which are organizations with a lot of other links and information about brain tumors.)  But in case they do not show up, here is a direct list:

• The American Brain Tumor Association
• Google Site – Tummor Warrior
• National Brain Tumor Society
• BT Buddies
• Your Eyes Are Your Heart
• It’s Just Benign
• Brain Tumour Foundation of Canada

Please feel free to add your link in a comment if it has to do with brain tumor support and information.  If you wish to get in  touch with Tom, you can email him at ThomasLMcLain@gmail.com, but be warned — he does not check it often.  He’ll be reading the comments here on this post, so give him some love here too!

Thank you for tuning in today and supporting #braintumorthursday.  We look forward to seeing you here at http://www.memomuse.wordpress.com every Thursday for #Brain Tumor Thursday and on Twitter every Thursday.  Thank you for your time.

Hope. Wish. Dream. Be.

~ memomuse

Faith – A Thought Essay in Photos

photo by memomuse - "Blurred Faith"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

photo by memomuse - "Left of Center"

 

This photo is kind of blurry, but so is my faith at times (most of the time).  But I believe… in something.  I don’t like to define it or talk about it to anyone other than myself and my God. But you know what they say, “Don’t talk about religion or politics.” So, let’s move on to some more photos of what I feel represents or speaks my reflections and thoughts on faith.  Some background info:  My mother is dying.  If you have to label something — she has two brain tumors she has lived with for the last ten years.  One is on her brain stem and the only is on her cerebellum (although I feel it should be in her cerebellum — we need a consult from Dr. McDreamy, ha ha). I have expected her to die since 2000 when we found out she had the tumors.  But my dad died in 2003 from lung cancer and shocked us all, my mother the most. He is buried at Arlington Cemetery.  He was a member of The Frozen Chosen.  My mother told me that she wants to be cremated and buried next to my dad at Arlington.   If that is possible, her plan B is to be scattered at sea (The Atlantic Ocean).  She told me, “A simple tasteful ceremony.”

“Of course,” I said.

She is a one in a million. And my dad was a one in a billion.  I’m one in a trillion.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I have Anne Lamott’s book, Grace (Eventually)- Thoughts on Faith.  I brought it to listen to on the airplane.  I haven’t listened to while I’ve been out here.  I’ve just been too busy.  I love Anne Lamott.  She inspires me.  I love her honesty and her words are beautiful. 

I am at my most peaceful and inspired when I am in a nature.  My father, Bless his heart, as they say in the South, was a deep man, with haunted memories of the Korean War, a broken childhood, a child born, not only the year of the crash, but the very month of the crash, October 5, 1929.  He was a gardener and a poet.  He was a night watchman for The Northern Trust Bank in Chicago. 

 I watched him watch nature while he took smoke breaks and he took plenty of them.  Plenty.  He would park that cig in a stare and think quietly, the orange amber hangin’ off the left side of his lip.  He taught me how to observe.  He was also a bird watcher; I think he knew their names and stuff.  I think of him when I see cardinals. 

 When he died, I had no idea where he went.  I’ll be honest.  But I knew he went somewhere better.  Somewhere he was at peace — with the war, with his sins, with his shame, with his secrets.  He was at peace.  But it took me years to get over the many bridges and interchanges of the highways and interstates of grief.  He was a good man.  He taught me how to find God in nature and in silence.  I credit him with teaching me poetry, how to see it, how to spot it. 

Faith is a curious thing.  I see it in people, in trees, giant cottonwoods, open meadows with birds purring the song of a morning, and at sunset in the clouds and open sky of the West.  I find faith in my heart.  But I finally figured out I don’t need to tell a soul about it.  My faith is for me. 

This photo is my mother smelling the lilys I brought her in the hospital.  She was discharged May 25.  She went back to the nursing home a lot stronger and so much better and happy her whole family rallied around her to give her love and unconditional support  She had a really bad urinary tract infection and severe dehydration.  I drove up to Cheyenne, Wyoming to see my best friend’s baby boy.  I stopped at the Terry Bison Ranch and had the best (and I can say this in all honesty) damn grass-fed buffalo sirloin.  $24.99 and worth every cent.  The veggies were seasoned and bright and delicious.  Yummy mashed potatoes, Texas toast just perfect crispy and a green colorful leafy salad.  A glass of Merlot helped wash that delicious meal down. 

But before I had dinner, I took a lovely walk around the ranch and saw horses, new-born calves, goats, llamas, camels, peacocks, chickens, and a herd of grazing buffalo.  Young little babies galloped in the field.  It was a lovely afternoon. 

photo by memomuse - click on photo to go to the Terry Bison Ranch website

 

 

photo by memomuse - "Forever West"

 The Terry Bison Ranch is right next to this sign.  It’s off to the right.

So, back to faith.  I find my faith in nature and I had the opportunity to take some photos during the glorious hour and half before sunset in Wyoming.  Ya got to understand this straight away – you can see for miles in Wyoming.  It’s a beautiful thing.  Long shadows casting brilliant light.  Before the sky lights up with pastels only God could create, you see the most brilliant light and shadows cast over the land.  Nothing to interfere with its beauty. Just wide open spaces.  I truly believe this is what opens people hearts up so wide — the space to see.

Here are just some of my photos from my afternoon photo shoot.

photo by memomuse - "Engine"

 

 

photo by memomuse -- "Isn't She a Beauty"

 

 

I leave you with my favorite photo from this little adventure, just over the Colorado border on Interstate 25. 

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photo by memomuse - "She is Forever West"

memomuse is a writer living in the South.  She is a cowgirl lost in the south.  She loves wide open spaces and wide open hearts.  You can follow her photojournalistic journeys on this website.  She is currently documenting her mother’s farewell to this earth this week at this same website. Tune in — it’s pretty interesting. Journal Your Journey.  She is also the creator of “The Original Journal.”  Find it on facebook under “The Original Journal.”